for the gold i chase / is azure and sapphire
hi i'm brew - i live in hk and i write fanfiction. amateur poet; constantly crying over swimming anime boys; never writes in proper sentences. [scroll down to blog]

October 21 2014, 08:49 PM

ghastly-h-crackers:

chombiechom:

lobisfemme:

dion-thesocialist:

I think tumblr has left a lot of us emotionally stunted. This is a great community for empowerment, catharsis, or coping, but those things aren’t recovery in and of themselves. Comparatively, they’re easy when compared to the painful self-reflection and real-world scenarios you’ll have to encounter on the road to true recovery. Not only does Tumblr not focus enough on recovery, but there’s almost a disdain here for the very notion.

There’s a lot of time spent validating everything. “Your symptoms are valid! Your responses are valid! Your depression is valid! Your coping is valid!” Well, yeah, all that stuff is definitely valid, and understanding that is important step in recovery, but it’s certainly not the final step. All that stuff is valid in the same way a baby chewing on a teething ring is valid, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy, but Tumblr almost encourages you to stay there, to never grow out of it.

There’s a difference between what’s valid and what’s healthy, what’s best for you. I recently saw a post that validated people who stay in their room all day. Is that a valid response to anxiety? Sure. Is it a healthy response? Hell no, and there isn’t a person on Earth who can convincingly make the argument that the best thing you can do for your anxiety is to never leave your room.

Or how about those “how to care for a _________” posts? They’ve got some great tips there, and a lot of what they say is true, but you cannot reasonably expect people to coddle your issues, insecurities, or self-perceived inadequacies. Your recovery has to come from you. It has to be a difficult decision you make with yourself and carry through with because you need it. Your recovery can’t come from hoping other people will validate you.

No one should be ashamed of where they are in their recovery process, but there’s also no reason why you should be in the same place with your issues as you were in 2010.

Your final goal is not validation. It isn’t empowerment. It isn’t finding a way to get through the day. It isn’t being comfortable with your problems, nor is it accepting that they’ll never go away. The final goal is health. The final goal is happiness. The final goal is contentment. The final goal is recovery.

Bolded is mine. This covers a lot of things I hate about Tumblr, as their process of validating mental illnesses tends to make people believe that validating = curing. 

I think one of the things that struck me most unhealthy about Tumblr was the cries demanding people give “trigger warnings” before posting.

As is well known by now a few years ago I had my life come to a screeching halt by a complete mental breakdown that left me hospitalized for some time. The culprit was undiagnosed OCD, the grand-daddy of all anxiety disorders. Of all the labours in my life my recovery was the hardest and it is by no means complete and I don’t know that it ever will be. It is a daily struggle measured in inches.

Things that can trigger an anxiety or full blown panic attack in me are many and varied and sometimes remarkably mundane. It is a full time job for me to deal with these triggers. But one of the first things I learned in therapy is that job is mine and mine alone. It is not for my family nor friends and most certainly not for the world at large much less random people on the internet to protect me from being exposed to the things that can trigger my anxiety. It is for me to deal with my anxiety in a way that does not cause harm to myself. DBT and CBT (that is cognitive behaviour therapy, not cock and ball torture…) gave me the tools I need to do the work I must do. Isolating myself from my anxieties wasn’t the answer and demanding the world around me bend to deflect my anxieties is not only selfish, it’s unhealthy. Unhealthy for me and unhealthy for the people around me.

Now not every day am I the master of my own personal demons. There are some days I just need to lock myself away in my room. There are many, many times I have to pick and choose my battles. But in the grand sense I am making the effort to be on the move, onward and upward. I am carving out my place in the world where I can be as healthy and productive as I can.

October 21 2014, 07:55 PM

593 notes   •  VIA: joyejoyu   •   SOURCE: violinic
Filed Under:  kurobasu  
KnB×JX-ENEOS Winter Cup 2014
KnB×JX-ENEOS Winter Cup 2014

October 21 2014, 07:51 PM

51,133 notes   •  VIA: cravingcolors   •   SOURCE: swarthyvillain
Filed Under:  quotes  ah  right  

You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.

 -

-Unknown English Teacher (via swarthyvillain)

I’ve never read anything more fucking true in my whole fucking life. 

Fuck.

(via robinade)

Well if this isn’t fucking meta…I don’t know what is.

(via spookychan)

It’s just basic Fuckonomics

(via exsequar)

October 21 2014, 07:50 PM

1,112 notes   •  VIA: dahliadenoire   •   SOURCE: dahliadenoire
Filed Under:  free!  boyfriends  NEVER  

dahliadenoire:

let the man change his clothes in peace haru
for the art meme thing

October 21 2014, 07:47 PM

2,369 notes   •  VIA: momohtaro   •   SOURCE: olivianlifes
Filed Under:  so niceeeeeeee  gekshou  

olivianlifes:

gsnk's minimalist poster [insp.]

October 21 2014, 07:46 PM

10,849 notes   •  VIA: cravingcolors   •   SOURCE: makanidotdot
Filed Under:  INCREDIBLE  legend of korra  

rufftoon:

makanidotdot:

ep 3 doodles

i just wanna draw tiny snarky lil tophs forever and ever she is so freaking perfect

drew this one back in book 3, posting because relevance

image

image

Your Toph is perfect- and your sleepy Zuko is perfect too, ha ha! Big smiles all around.

October 21 2014, 02:53 PM

919 notes   •  VIA: mmmaoh   •   SOURCE: mmmaoh
Filed Under:  free!  boyfriends  such pretty lines ahhhhh  
mmmaoh:

10.18.2014 - MakoHaru lineart WIP

mmmaoh:

10.18.2014 - MakoHaru lineart WIP

October 21 2014, 01:45 PM

sunteaflower:

We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.

October 21 2014, 12:38 PM

177 notes   •  VIA: anaterma   •   SOURCE: anaterma
Filed Under:  free!  sourin  
anaterma:

anaterma:

October 21 2014, 11:37 AM

1,454 notes   •  VIA: joyejoyu   •   SOURCE: violinic
Filed Under:  kurobasu  so cool!